Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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