Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
