please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
