This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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