never play flip cup with pint glasses
is wine microwaveable?
It's just like the Real World with babies
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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