We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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