Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
