I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
