These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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