Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
