OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
