I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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