Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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