what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
