But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
