So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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