I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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