that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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