a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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