You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
