I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
