i think my tv is drunk
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
