I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This baby is an asshole
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
