i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
