I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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