just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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