u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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