So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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