Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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