chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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