he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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