My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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