in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
