New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
