Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
