I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
