Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
