I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
