it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
