put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
