Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
third nipple confirmed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
