Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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