Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize