shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You smell like stripper and shame
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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