I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
