question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
