piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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