she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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