also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
