my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
