he thought i was a dude.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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