We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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