How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
