Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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