ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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