This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
