its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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