The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
