we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
